Warning: This was from one of my hardest days here in Kisumu. I warn you that it may be depressing to read and that this is only one small part of my trip which I struggle with. There is a lot of good happening here but there is also a lot of hardships which is voiced below.
I used to think that anything was possible. Actually I still do but I realize that there are constraints on what you can fully accomplish in life here in Kenya. What is possible is tightly restricted. I believe that anything is possible most likely because being from the west I have the resources already in play to be used. It is easy for me who has been feed, clothed, educated, a roof over my head and in addition money in my pocket from a good job to work or save towards my goals. I have been given the critical resources needed to feel like anything is possible. It also helps that I have an extremely supportive family and group of friends. But here it is different. Like home in Kenya it takes money to make money. But this is hard to do if you don't have any resources to rub together to make even 1 KYS which is less than 1 cent CAD. I could sit here and say that my volunteer experience has been all sunshine and roses and at times it has but it has also weighed down on my soul emotionally. I am finding it harder to believe anything is possible for anyone when I see a single mother that has not had access to full education who depends on others to feed and cloth her child or keeps a belief in God that she will one day be okay. She has no sense of a future plan ahead of her, she can point out what she is good at but has no means to make it a profession. She still owes money for last months rent on a small one room cubicle where she sleeps with her son. When her Mother tells her it isn't even conceivable that she thinks of visiting Canada one day and that she shouldn't even bother hoping my heart sinks. It sinks because her mother is right unless I can help her or someone else can help her. Otherwise she will stay in a state of stagnation hoping for a better world while watching her son be brought up in the same corrupt poverty stricken town she has never had the chance to leave. I refuse to give her money because unless there is a plan in place the money will do no help and is only a short term fix. I am lost in finding a solution to this poor girls' problem which is frustrating because I am a solution finder. The problem is that Winnie the single mother of 23 years of age I am speaking about is not alone. She has hundreds and thousands of fellow sisters in the same place as her. I constantly am going through community bank registration forms with the words widow or single next to their name. Some like Winnie have fallen for a man who promised to be there for her but left her pregnant for another woman. Others have lost their husband to disease such as aids. This is an all too common sight in Kenya. These women are struggling to feed, cloth, and keep a roof over their families head - things that I have never really had to think about. Despite the fact of Winnie's struggles she still has a beaming smile and is willing to help others with no expectations that it will be returned. It is humbling to see and also heartbreaking.
I still believe anything is possible but I am left wondering if that is reserved for those of us living in the West or at least those who have had the initial resources to allow them to believe?
The other problem for Winnie is that to join a community bank you need an income to be able to a) pay for the passbook fee 100KYS ($1.50 CAD) b) continually be able to save. This is hard to do without a business or employment. So in a sense we are missing a bottom part of the poverty group - those that have not been able to find a source of income. How do they or we help them to rise to the level where they could at least join a community bank to improve their life?
While all this is going on I am really missing home today which makes me feel super selfish after realizing what Winnie struggles with everyday. I am trying to figure out why I miss home and maybe it is because part of me is feeling hopeless. I see a seemingly never-ending cycle of corruption, disease, poverty, and aid dependency here. I want to believe that one person can make a difference - a step even if small is a step forward - but how can that be done fully? Is it education? Money? Mutual exchange of knowledge? Volunteering time? Donating goods? What will make the most measurable difference? This is a constant thought that streams through my head along with where I am going to donate the money raised? Who should receive it? Why some and not others? All these questions and thoughts way down on me. They are important questions and thoughts that I know can make a difference even if small.
Any thoughts you guys may have would be wonderful to hear! I'm struggling with finding the right answer.
xo Kristy
What does she like to do in her everyday life? Sew? Put things together? Take care of Children? Build up upon all the strengths and passions she currently has! Is there anyway that you can get something like a student loan happening at the bank? What about having her use some of the gifts as resale for the market as what you said many people do in your previous post.
ReplyDeleteWhat does her mother do for income? Is she able to follow in her footsteps?
Yes we have been lucky with the way we have grown up and the fact that Mom has always been there if we have ever stumbbled. But it sounds as though the same principles are there in that home two just on a different scale. Just remember that your path is not always ideal for the same person. Just look at how you and I have shaped our Adult lives and the lessons we have learned from our differing experiences.
We miss you! Just think you're already 1/2 way done and you still have a lot more to learn from this experience. Can't wait to see a video with the kids playing with (Ty's) Hot Wheels.
Much Love,
Katt
Hey honey,
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I can't think enough is how lucky I am to have friends that are motivated and driven. Share with Winnie your drive and passion, and the psychology behind the Todd. You are a walking inspiration, I'll bet she can catch some of the fever!
K
Oh Kristy. I think we all wonder about that sometimes – how to make a needed difference in the lives of so many who need that help. It has got to be hard to think about such a soul searching question when all those people who need help are right in front of you. It is hard enough thinking about it when we watch it on TV or read about it in the paper, but you are surrounded with the reality of it everyday. You are so very brave to do what you do.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE making a difference in Kenya, in all kinds of little ways: delivering glasses to that girl in Grade 8, providing toothbrushes and clothing to the children in the school that had never received such gifts, setting up financial systems for community banks. You are touching the lives of many people in ways you will likely never know.
I encourage you to find a way to help Winnie, Kristy. I realize she is one of many who need help, but if you can make a difference in her life you will have made a difference for both her and her son – you will have changed TWO ENTIRE LIVES. From the way you describe her generous spirit, I am sure she will continue to pay it forward, and you will have started something very good.
Keep up the good work, Kristy. You are doing great things over there.
xoxoxo
Global change starts with the efforts of one. Microfinance was birthed from the ideals of one man and look what happened.
ReplyDeleteI know it can be frustrating and discouraging but keep your chin up and your heart open and things will come. Change is not always immediate. Even if you leave Kenya not having seen the changes you were hoping for, you have to know that you have planted a seed in these communities and the lives of the individuals you have met.
I am so proud of you!
Chantelle